The Legolas Files
by Iris Green1
Summary: Haldir reacts to Legolas being Aragorn's whore in a series of songs and scenes taken from various musicals/movies (mostly "Moulin Rouge")
1. Legolas

Disclaimer: Legolas, Haldir, and Estel all belong to J.R.R. Tolkien. The song "Roxanne" belongs to The Police the last time that I checked.  
  
Author's Note: Yes, the bad parodies strike yet again! This was written in response to the alarming number of fics out there that make Legolas out to be Aragorn's whore. (Not that this is condescending in any way – one of my favorite stories out there is about Legolas almost selling himself to Aragorn.) It's what I think Haldir has to say about all of this.  
  
(Haldir, after having caught Legolas sneaking away from Aragorn's room for the hundreth time, approaches his coup de foudre and tries to express how he feels. He cannot seem to find the words, so, in the nature of all Elves, he breaks out into song.)  
  
Legolas!  
  
You don't have to send off an arrow's flight.  
  
Those days are over  
  
You don't have to sell your body to the night.  
  
Legolas!  
  
You don't have to wear that shirt tonight,  
  
Go to Estel for money,  
  
You don't care if it's wrong or if it's right.  
  
Legolas –  
  
You don't have to send off an arrow's flight.  
  
Legolas –  
  
You don't have to send off an arrow's flight.  
  
[Legolas] Send off an arrow's flight,  
  
[Legolas] Send off an arrow's flight,  
  
[Legolas] Send off an arrow's flight,  
  
[Legolas] Send off an arrow's flight,  
  
[Legolas] Send off an arrow's flight.  
  
I loved you since I knew you  
  
I wouldn't talk down to you  
  
I have to tell you just how I feel  
  
I won't share you with another Man!  
  
I know my mind is made up.  
  
Don't try to fake me up.  
  
You're a Prince and Elf besides -  
  
Don't throw yourself away.  
  
Legolas!  
  
You don't have to send off an arrow's flight.  
  
Legolas!  
  
You don't have to send off an arrow's flight.  
  
[Legolas] You don't have to send off an arrow's flight,  
  
[Legolas] Send off an arrow's flight,  
  
[Legolas] Send off an arrow's flight,  
  
[Legolas] Set off an arrow's flight,  
  
[Legolas] Send off an arrow's flight! 


	2. El Tango de Legolas

Disclaimer: Legolas, Haldir, and Aragorn all belong to J.R.R. Tolkien. "El Tango de Roxanne" belongs to whoever owns the remarkable, incredible, spectacular "Moulin Rouge".  
  
Author's Note: Round two! I couldn't help but get a nagging feeling that "El Tango de Roxanne" was just more of Haldir's style than the version sung by The Police, and the sight of lots of pretty Elf boys dancing around madly is enough to drive anyone insane in a zero period algebra two class. Some lyrics remain unchanged because I had not the heart to slaughter them. If you've never seen the movie "Moulin Rouge", you might want to go out and rent it to get a general feel for where exactly this song places in the overall story. As for placement in Tolkien's world: Aragorn has become King of Gondor, Legolas is more or less his whore, Haldir is upset because he's in love with Legolas (and vice versa), and Legolas is being used as an instrument from the Elves to push through a political campaign through Men. Lots of finaglement.  
  
(All of the Elves are sitting morosely in the Great Hall – save for Legolas, who is out with Aragorn trying to push a reform through by means of seduction. Haldir, who is beginning to feel the first pangs of jealousy, mopes. Glorfindel snorts, taking "center stage".)  
  
GLORFINDEL: Never fall in love with an Elf who sells himself! It always turns out BAD! (This gets a chorus of laughs and a rather dirty look from Haldir. Glorfindel continues.) In Rivendell, we know the story of a Prince from Mirkwood and the Elf Lord who falls in love… with him. (The lights go up on Rumil, causing more laughter. Rumil, smiling, takes his position in the center opposite Glorfindel, the violins swelling in the background. They begin the dance.) First, there is desire. Then passion. (Rumil looks lustfully at the other Elves gathering in for the dance.) Next is suspicion, anger, jealousy! When a prince sells himself to the highest bidder, there can be no trust. Where there is no trust, there is no love! (The dance now begins in earnest.)  
  
Legolas!  
  
You don't have to get involved in a fling.  
  
Legolas!  
  
You don't have to sell your body to the King!  
  
(As the Elves pair up and begin the tango, Haldir starts to walk numbly out of the Great Hall, his feet leading him to the Tower.)  
  
HALDIR: His eyes upon your face,  
  
His hand upon your hand,  
  
His lips caress your skin,  
  
It's more than I can stand!  
  
Why does my heart cry?  
  
Feelings I can't fight –  
  
You're free to leave me  
  
But just don't deceive me  
  
And please believe me when I say  
  
I love you.  
  
(The scene cuts to The Tower, where Aragorn is "serenading" Legolas over dinner.)  
  
ARAGORN: When my reforms go through, you shall no longer be just a Prince of Mirkwood. You shall be the second consort of Gondor! (He presents Legolas with a new knife. Legolas gasps.) Consider this a gift from Beren to his Luthien.  
  
LEGOLAS: And the proposition?  
  
ARAGORN: Let the Elves keep their fairy tale proposition.  
  
(They go out to the balcony. The figure of Haldir glares balefully up from below.)  
  
LEGOLAS (sings): Come what may… I will love you, until my dying day…  
  
ARAGORN (notices Haldir): I see. So it is true. You do love him.  
  
LEGOLAS: My dear King –  
  
ARAGORN: Silence! You lied to me! You made me believe you loved me!  
  
LEGOLAS: No –  
  
(Aragorn drags a sobbing Legolas back inside and slaps him, hard. Legolas screams, running around the table. Aragorn pulls off the tablecloth, causing various platters of food to fall of. He catches Legolas and rips his shirt off, throwing the Elf onto the bed as the song continues, Haldir running a counter-melody with Glorfindel's repeated "Legolas".)  
  
HALDIR: Why must my heart cry?  
  
GLORFINDEL: Legolas!  
  
HALDIR: Feelings I can't fight.  
  
GLORFINDEL: Legolas!  
  
HALDIR: You're free to leave me but just don't deceive me  
  
And please believe me when I say I love you.  
  
Why does my heart cry?  
  
GLORFINDEL: Legolas!  
  
HALDIR: Feelings I can't fight –  
  
GLORFINDEL: Legolas!  
  
(Haldir's voice tapers off, but the Elves continue singing his refrain, the song coming to a dizzying conclusion as Rumil pantomimes having his throat slit amongst a circle of Elf Lords. At the Tower, Elohir walks in on Legolas' impending doom and punches Aragorn, rendering him unconscious.)  
  
A/N: Not very original, I know, I know. My apologies. Whatever comes next will actually have somewhat parodied lyrics. 


	3. Spectacular! Spectacular!

Disclaimer: All Tolkien and Baz Luhrmann's.  
  
Author's Note: Evil parodies strike yet again! There was never supposed to have been a conclusion to "Roxanne" or "El Tango de Roxanne", but inspiration has a habit of seeing its task done with. This is merely another sketch of what "El Tango de Legolas" began. I apologize for the horrid state of this piece, but at the moment, I cannot envision a better parody of Legolas being Aragorn's whore.  
  
CELEBORN: Open the doors! Open the doors!  
  
HALDIR: (backstage) Say it! Say that you don't love me!  
  
LEGOLAS: (backstage and whimpering, kneeling) No, Haldir – it's not worth it –  
  
(The doors swing open, and Haldir and Legolas find themselves in the harsh lights of the stage. The audience mutters in confusion; Haldir is not Elohir, the Elf who originally was seen with Legolas. Celeborn's eyes flash, noticing Aragorn's seething rage in the front row, and he quickly covers.)  
  
CELEBORN: Haha! I am not fooled! This is the same, common archer, whom I have banished from my kingdom! (The audience "ooos". Haldir spits and throws a bag of coins at Legolas.)  
  
HALDIR: She means nothing to me. There. I've paid my whore. (Silent tears are running down Legolas' cheeks, and he is rocking back and forth, murmuring "No, no…" Haldir's voice cracks.) Thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obsession with love! (He stalks off the stage. In the front row, Aragorn is sporting a demonic grin.)  
  
CELEBORN: (moving closer to Legolas, who now makes no effort to hide his sobs) See how he flees the kingdom! He does not love you! (He bends down and whispers in the other Elf's pointed ear) Shh, my princeling, this is for the best. (He straightens up.) And now, my consort, it is time for us to take our wedding vows. (Legolas continues to sob and shakes his head violently, then finally gains some control over himself.)  
  
LEGOLAS: (sings) Never knew I could feel like this… Like I'd never seen the trees before. Want to vanish inside your kiss; every century I love you more and more. (His voice gains projection as he pulls himself to his feet.) Listen to my heart – can you hear it sing? Come back to me and forgive everything! (He stops himself, his voice coming in jagged rasps.) Seasons may change, winter to spring… (He whispers) But I love you, until the end of time.  
  
(Haldir stops dead in his tracks and turns around, tears welling up in his eyes.)  
  
HALDIR: (sings) Come what may… (Legolas breaks into a radiant smile, oblivious to the smudges of his makeup. Aragorn continues to seethe in the front row.) Come what may… (Haldir begins to stride back down the aisle joyfully.) I will love you!  
  
LEGOLAS: (joining in) I will love you!  
  
BOTH: Until my dying day! Come what may, come what may… I will love you, until my dying day! (The two lovers are reunited onstage amidst a flurry of kisses and hugs. Celeborn pretends to be distressed, but a glimmer in his eye betrays his true feelings about the situation.)  
  
ARAGORN: He's mine! Mine! That isn't the ending! (He gets up and storms out, then trips over a dagger that Haldir conveniently dropped on the way out the aisle. In a mad rage, he picks it up and runs towards the stage, only to be met by a strong blow from Celeborn. Elohir enters the madness.)  
  
(Daeron, the conductor of the orchestra pit, jumps onstage.)  
  
DAERON: The Elves live on!  
  
(The company freezes and turns back to the audience.)  
  
ELOHIR: (sings) No matter what you say, the tide is shifting our way! (Legolas and Haldir join in, arm in arm.) You'd better stand your ground, 'cause we won't back down for… (The entire company joins in.) Freedom! Beauty! Truth and love! (A shower of flower pedals rains down from above as Haldir and Legolas sing opposing countermelodies. All too soon, the lights blow out and the curtain falls down.)  
  
**Well? Should I continue on this "Moulin Rouge" path, or get a life and do something new? 


	4. Wig in a Box

Disclaimer: Anything vaguely related to "Lord of the Rings" belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien. The song "Wig in a Box" belongs to John Cameron Mitchell and Stephen Trask.  
  
Author's Note: A great big thank you to all of the wonderful people who reviewed my parodies of "Moulin Rouge" that have come to dominate The Legolas Files! I'm getting some drafts together for an Aragorn/Haldir/Legolas "Moulin Rouge" parody up. Until then, the time has been passed by rewriting "Wig in a Box" from "Hedwig and the Angry Inch".  
  
This has nothing to do with other pieces of The Legolas Files, and was written under the premise of, "What if Legolas' hair was really just a wig?" Hope that you enjoy this short little discourse.  
  
LEGOLAS: On nights like this,  
  
When my life's a bit amiss,  
  
And the fireworks of Mithrandir are in full flair,  
  
I lay down, I feel had,  
  
Feel like things can only be bad,  
  
And then it's time to do my hair.  
  
I lay down my weapons,  
  
Sing of Elbereth,  
  
And put the wig back on my head,  
  
Suddenly I'm Mr. Middle Earth Beauty King,  
  
Until I head home – and I put myself to bed.  
  
(Chords strike up from beneath his window, triggered by one of the band members of the Angry Inch. The tempo picks up a notch.)  
  
I look back on where I'm from,  
  
Look at the Elf that I've become,  
  
And the strangest things seem suddenly routine.  
  
I look up from the water on the rocks,  
  
The gift-wrapped wig still in the box  
  
Of towering velveteen.  
  
I lay down my weapons,  
  
Sing of Elbereth,  
  
And pull a wig down from the shelf.  
  
Suddenly I'm King Elrond of Rivendell,  
  
Until I wake up, then I turn back to myself.  
  
(The full band of the Angry Inch now marches in, complete with smiles, into Legolas' flet, led by a crooning Haldir. They sing the backup.)  
  
Some Elves, they've got a natural ease  
  
They wear them any way they please  
  
With their Noldor curls and perfumed magazines.  
  
Braid it up, plait it down,  
  
This is the best way that I've found,  
  
To be the best you've ever seen.  
  
I lay down my weapons,  
  
Sing of Elbereth,  
  
And pull a wing down from the shelf.  
  
Suddenly I'm Queen Galadriel of Lothlorien,  
  
Until I wake up, then I turn back to myself.  
  
(The tempo is now unbelievably fast as Legolas vents his frustrations and his rage in an effect that looks very much akin to a corny music video.)  
  
Flop, bi-level bob, Nazgul look too,  
  
Hobbit curls, Dwarvish locks  
  
It's all because of you  
  
With your air dried, tossed back  
  
I'm-An-Elflord do,  
  
Frizz, glitz, flip, dip,  
  
It's all because of you!  
  
It's all because of you!  
  
All because of you…  
  
(The tempo once again slows down, and Legolas gets a little bit of control of himself, even venturing to smile. The words pop up on the screen as he says them, the Angry Inch singing along.)  
  
Ok, everybody!  
  
I lay down my weapons,  
  
Sing of Elbereth,  
  
And pull the wig down from the shelf…  
  
(The words stop popping up on the screen and the Angry Inch take their places behind Legolas.)  
  
Suddenly I'm this bad ass warrior of myth and song  
  
And ain't never…  
  
I'm never turning back! 


	5. Like an Archer

Disclaimer: Tolkien and Baz Luhrmann's. So very not mine.  
  
Author's Note: For anyone who decided that the "Moulin Rouge" parodies actually have any redeeming value, I heartily encourage you to check out "Arbre Rouge" and critique it. This is merely a toss-up idea for later chapters of "Arbre Rouge" – actually, I told a lie. It's just a random parody of "Like A Virgin" that will hopefully make it into "Arbre Rouge", but that's debatable at the moment. Have fun!  
  
(Situations are tense in the Tower, seeing as Legolas has still not arrived and Aragorn has threatened to back out of investing should Legolas not show up. The time continues to tick on, and Aragorn makes a move to go. Celeborn, seeing his dreams flying out the window and going splat on the ground outside, shrieks.)  
  
CELEBORN: He's… BATHING!  
  
ARAGORN: (whirling around angrily) Bathing?! What sort of imbecile do you take me for, Celeborn?  
  
CELEBORN: He had a sudden desire to go to a bathhouse and wash away his sins.  
  
ARAGORN: What?  
  
CELEBORN: He's like a blushing bride. He looked upon tonight as his wedding night.  
  
ARAGORN: His wedding night?  
  
CELEBORN: He says you make him feel like… (His voice drops down to a whisper) An archer.  
  
ARAGORN: An archer?  
  
CELEBORN: You know… killing for the very first time. He says you make him feel so good inside when you hold him, and you touch him…  
  
ARAGORN: (looking off into the distance) Like an archer…  
  
(The Dancing Elves begin to tidy up the Tower, moving into place. Celeborn takes Aragorn by the arm.)  
  
CELEBORN: (sings) He's made it out of Mirkwood. He's made it through. He didn't know how lost he was until he found you. (The violins swell into a crescendo in the background.)  
  
He was beat, incomplete.  
  
He had been had, he was sad and blue, but you made him feel…  
  
Yes you made him feel shiny and new! Ahhh!  
  
(The Dancing Elves launch into their dance, twirling about the Tower in a frenzied flurry of grace.)  
  
Like an archer!  
  
Killing for the very first time!  
  
Like an ar-ar-cher-er,  
  
When your bows twang both in time.  
  
(He falls into a chair as the Dancing Elves wrap a white sheet around his head, giving the brief illusion of a bride. He bats his eyes at Aragorn, who looks rather disgusted and horrified by this entire ordeal.)  
  
Gonna give you all his love!  
  
His grief is fading fast.  
  
He's been saving it all for you – only love can last!  
  
(Celeborn gets out of the chair, pulling Aragorn up in front of the line of can-canning Elves. The Elves then form to make a "bridge", which Celeborn pulls Aragorn through.)  
  
He's so fine, and he's thine.  
  
He'll be yours, until the end of time,  
  
'Cause you made him feel, yes you made him feel he has nothing to hide! Like an archer! Killing for the very first time!  
  
Like an archer, when your bows twang, both in time!  
  
(They end up outside on the balcony. Celeborn manages to swoon into Aragorn's arms. The Man is frightened, even, and tries to run away.)  
  
Like an archer! Feels so good inside!  
  
When you hold him, and you touch him, and you hold him, and you touch him…  
  
(Aragorn does run away this time, with the Dancing Elves and Celeborn in hot pursuit. Celeborn and Aragorn end up on the bed, with Celeborn making flirtatious faces at the King. The Dancing Elves cluster about closely. The scene abruptly switches to an image of Haldir peering out his window, waiting for Legolas to appear. Legolas, meanwhile, is stuck in his dressing room at the Arbre Rouge. The doctor is standing over him, shaking his head and murmuring to Galadriel. Legolas stirs, his blue eyes looking pained. The shot then switches back over to the scene at the Tower, where Aragorn is just getting into the swing of things.)  
  
ARAGORN: (sings and getting up, the Dancing Elves putting on "bad boy" expressions and humming lowly in the background.) He's so fine, and he's mine. He makes me strong, yes he makes me bold, his love thawed out, yes his love thawed out what was scared and cold!  
  
(Celeborn leads the solemn procession out to the main room of the Tower, then turns about and frolicks.)  
  
CELEBORN: Like an archer!  
  
ARAGORN: Touched for the very first time!  
  
CELEBRON: Like an archer!  
  
ARAGRON: When your bows twang both in time!  
  
CELEBORN: Like an archer!  
  
ARAGORN: Feels so good inside! When I hold him, and I touch him, and I hold him and I touch him…  
  
(Aragorn, on a chair with a fake wind effect blowing back his hair, approaches a mock-cowering Celeborn on the table.)  
  
BOTH: Ahhhh, ahhh, aahhh… Like an archer!  
  
DANCING ELVES: Love, love, love, love, love!  
  
(The dance concludes with a bottle of wine being opened, and Celeborn and Aragorn end in a rather charming pose with their cheeks pressed against one another.) 


	6. A Life Less Ordinary

Disclaimer: Dialogue/plotlines belong to whoever wrote "A Life Less Ordinary"; everything else belongs to Tolkien.  
  
Author's Note: Continuing in on the "Not Enough Haldir/Legolas Relationships" and "Peaceful Protests Against Abusive Aragorn/Legolas/Haldir Relationships", I give you the zany action/comedy that makes absolutely no sense at all. Once again, I have slaughtered Lord of the Rings in an attempt to get a few cheap laughs. If you guys think it should develop, review?  
  
The Backstory: Haldir is working in Mirkwood, employed as a common Guardian for the forest against the yicky spiders. Legolas is a spoiled little brat. Gandalf and Radagast have to get the two together somehow.  
  
(The screen lights up with bright, blinding images of a bustling room. Everything is white, spotless, and precise – except for Gandalf and Radagast, who sit in the waiting lobby in "normal" clothing. Manwe enters and leads them back to his office. He is in a foul mood. Back at his office, he carefully shuts the door and pulls out a number of files. Radagast languidly sits on his desk, but Gandalf takes a more careful seat.)  
  
MANWE: (picking up the first folder) Tortured by Orcs; departed to the Sea. (He throws down the file and picks up another one.) Separation due to irreconcilable differences after three thousand years. (He picks up another one.) Divorce – divorce, divorce, divorce, divorce! (He throws the files across the room. Radagast gives a little jump, but Gandalf doesn't even blink.)  
  
RADAGAST: Things just aren't the same out there anymore. The Children just aren't falling in love the way that they used to.  
  
MANWE: (grimly) I know. Eru is not happy. We're to introduce new incentives to our leading operatives.  
  
RADAGAST: (smiling) Leading operatives?  
  
MANWE: (tosses Radagast a file) Yeah. Two Children must join together in eternal bliss, yadda, yadda, yadda, for forever and ever. If you succeed, you can come back home. If not… You're stuck out in Middle-earth forever.  
  
GANDALF: (outraged) But –  
  
MANWE: (tossing up his hands) It's out of my hands. It's a hard case to crack. I wish you both luck.  
  
(Gandalf and Radagast peer into the file and scowl as green light washes over their face. The scene abruptly cuts to King Thranduil's palace in Mirkwood. Legolas is doing the backstroke through a nearby lake as his butler, Maehew. After awhile, Legolas steps out of the lake and goes to a tray that Maehew has just put down. The Prince takes the bow and arrow and tosses an apple to Maehew, who shines it on his shirt.)  
  
HALDIR VOICEOVER: He's the secret son of Turin and Neinor, back in the Second Age. When his parents die, he is taken in by a group of kind villagers and grows up completely oblivious to his incredible heritage.  
  
(The scene comes in from the ceiling of a rather grim, dull looking room in the palace. Haldir is telling his story over a card game to two of his friends, one who is completely bored, and the other who is enthralled by the story.)  
  
ENTHRALLED ELF: What happens?  
  
HALDIR: Well, he goes to Rivendell to get a higher education, and –  
  
BORED ELF: Where he discovers who his parents are, what Turin did to all of those people, feels horribly guilty about his lineage and… kills himself.  
  
HALDIR: (taken aback) Well, yeah. How did you know?  
  
ENTHRALLED ELF: (shaking his head) Well, it's kind of obvious, Haldir.  
  
HALDIR: Guys, it's a trash ballad. It's supposed to be obvious. You buy it when you take a vacation!  
  
(At that moment, Kalithlin, the leader of the cleaning/Guardian army steps in through the door. Haldir and company immediately get to their feet. Haldir grabs his quiver and his bow.)  
  
HALDIR: Lady Kalithlin! Lovely to see you down here. Now, if you don't mind, I'd best be going –  
  
(Kalithlin stops him and triumphantly hands him a letter.)  
  
(The scene cuts back to Legolas as he shoots the apple off of Maehew's head. Aragorn enters, smirking. Legolas rolls his eyes.)  
  
ARAGORN: Nice shooting, Legolas.  
  
LEGOLAS: (archly) Care to try your luck?  
  
ARAGORN: (moving closer) With the bow?  
  
LEGOLAS: (flatly) No. With the fruit.  
  
ARAGORN: Legolas, we discussed a certain proposal last night –  
  
LEGOLAS: (taking a seat on a nearby bench) And I said no. You're already married to Arwen, Aragorn.  
  
ARAGORN: (smarmily) True, the Evenstar is my official consort. But just think, Legolas. On this side of the Sea, it's hard to find a good lover, much less a good King.  
  
(The scene cuts back to Haldir, who reads the letter that Kalithlin has handed him. He looks up at her, disgusted.)  
  
HALDIR: What? You're going to replace me with "reformed Orcs"? The little "good" Orcs are going to be armed and allowed to run through Mirkwood in their little Orcish groups? I think not, Lady Kalithlin!  
  
KALITHLIN: (nastily) This comes straight from the top – from King Thranduil himself.  
  
(Haldir starts out the door.)  
  
HALDIR: Then maybe it's time that I spoke to this King Thranduil!  
  
KALITHLIN: (sharply) It's too late. You're fired!  
  
(Back at the Lake: Legolas has Aragorn standing with the apple perched on his head. Legolas backs up a good hundred paces.)  
  
LEGOLAS: Now, if you move at all, the offer's cancelled.  
  
ARAGORN: (nervously) Mm-hmm. (Legolas nocks his bow and draws. Aragorn cries out.) Legolas –  
  
LEGOLAS: (aiming) Shh!  
  
ARAGORN: (gulping) Do you really think this is wise? (Legolas shrugs and looses the arrow, but Aragorn moves at the last minute. All the audience sees is the King falling over screaming. Legolas drops his arrow, looks guiltily up at Maehew, and smiles.)  
  
LEGOLAS: Oops. Maehew, would you call for a healer, please?  
  
MAEHEW: (unperturbed) It would be my pleasure, sir.  
  
(Meanwhile, Haldir has gone out to the local wine storage cavern/bar, where his lover, Daeron, is serving drinks.)  
  
DAERON: (concerned, but in a bad way) Haldir – what are you doing here now?  
  
HALDIR: (sniffling) Oh, Daeron – I got fired. They're going to replace me with reformed Orcs.  
  
DAERON: (rolling his eyes) Well, I know how they feel.  
  
HALDIR: (glancing up) What?  
  
DAERON: (nervously playing with his hair) Look, Haldir, I've been meaning to tell you this for awhile, but… I'm leaving you. From tonight on, you're going home alone.  
  
HALDIR: (astonished) Daeron, I… I don't know what to say!  
  
DAERON: (continuing) He's one of Elrond's henchmen. We're moving to Rivendell. (He shrugs) We're in love.  
  
HALDIR: But, but – couldn't we talk about this? (Daeron begins to walk away.) Wait!  
  
DAERON: (whirls around) No! I want an Elf, not a dreamer.  
  
(Haldir glances down at his empty shot glass. A waiter emphasizes and fills it with some sort of liquid, which Haldir downs in one gulp. A red light flashes as he returns to his one-room flet. After hearing accusing voices in his head, he passes out.) 


End file.
